time to focus.

it seems like this past year is a big blur. so many changes and new beginnings happened in our lives that i feel as though i haven't been able to focus. the most important thing that i seemed to have let go of is my marriage. the first year of our marriage was better than a lot of first years i suppose. i was taking after his heart classes and learning how God wanted me to treat my husband. how not to act and nag... i was more focused then. although i was pregnant the last 9 months of our first year, i didn't have a child to chase after and care for.

in no way am i complaining about having an amazing little boy. but i think i let my focus go towards him before focusing on my other half who truly is my better half. i have always appreciated all the things my husband does for our family but i'm not very good at showing it. it's like i've become bitter towards things he asks from me because i'm being selfish in taking care of me, our son, and our home.. the laundry, the dinners, the bills. why did i let those things come before the man i have vowed to spend the rest of my days with? how did i not see it?

i know we both have a lot more to learn about marriage and each other. now we will have a second baby boy within a weeks time and i'm certain that i will have many emotions going through my mind. especially the feeling of being overwhelmed. josh and i are now 100% responsible for working all hours the gym is open. if not working then searching for volunteers to help us out while we are at school or church or while he is working another 50 hours for sprint.

i know God will work it out. we have already began to see some fruit produce that was sown over a year ago. with 2 babies and 1 vehicle between us... we were in need of a second vehicle so i can go back and forth to the gym and of course go to all the fun doctor appointments that will soon occur. well next week we will be receiving a car as a complete gift from my wonderful grandmother. talk about an answered prayer. and as if that's not enough, she is paying for the first 6 months of our insurance as well. God is so good all the time! He is our provider. Gen 50:21 Easy now, you have nothing to fear; I'll take care of you and your children. He reassured them, speaking with them heart-to-heart. (message bible)

He has been so overwhelmingly faithful and i know everything will work out just as He has planned. so now i have to focus on making sure i have given all to Christ and get my priorities straight again. God, husband, children, school. everything else shall just fall in it's place as we continue this very busy yet undeniably amazing journey. to God be all the glory!